I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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