Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
