i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
