She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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