My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
