jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
