I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
not ubering you a puppy
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
