I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
