Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
