i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
