He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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