Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
