I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
