five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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