So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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