so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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