Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
