so explain again why im purple
no
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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