are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
