I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
