You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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