she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
