I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
