Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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