If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
