I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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