Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
