i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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