First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
cat food counts as protein by the way
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
