I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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