giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's blow job season.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
