Rock
Scissors
Fuck
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
