so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it's great music for shaving your balls
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
