How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
