Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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