I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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