you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
