everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
