I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
