i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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