just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
