soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
