We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
