oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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