First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
