my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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