PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
