I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
