I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
