The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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